Bloodyvostock - (Bad Ass Mess): Russian pygmy president Vladimir Sputum has been named Top International ID Fraudster of the Year by the Forbes Rich List for his spectacular heist on western democracies' assets.
Citing his "extraordinary ability to hoodwink" Putain (sic) was awarded the title despite ferocious competition from America's President George W Bush, Pope Ratzinger, conjoined twin UK Prime Monsters Blair & Brown and the Puppet Monarch Elizabeth Hitler.
"This is an extraordinary feat of cunning, deception and downright illusion," Forbes' award committee said today, "and has brought the long-awaited instability to Russia that the country so richly deserves.
Ex-US Vice President Al Gore and established serial fraudster/plagiarist/story theif JK Rowling were singled out as runners-up for the title with special mention being given to singers Madonna, Michael Jackson and Amy Whorehouse.
Forbes has spearheaded its annual award every year since 1927 and has previously honored US Presidents George W Bush and Bill Clinton and Microsoft thief Bill Gates.
Posthumous awards have also been given to Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Ayatollah Khomeini after NATO Military Intelligence confirmed the depth of their depravity and conniving.
Putin said today: "I am am gobsmacked that they actually sussed me out."