Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 17 November 2007

image for Bank Of England To Print More Money Next Year
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Prime Minister Gordon Brown has this morning announced in Parliament a plan that would see the Bank of England increase tenfold the amount of money it prints each year.

Mr Brown said that many of the country's current woes were down to a lack of hard cash, and many people were "feeling the pinch". He told ministers that if more money were printed, "even the Poor could be made rich", and everyone would be happier.

He went on to say that the constant appeals to the general public for more Cash For Good Causes, such as yesterday's Children In Need and the equally cynical and in-your-face Comic Relief, were draining the economy, and rendering hardworking folk "penniless". It was then that he announced his incredible plan to issue ten times the normal amount of new money, and to distribute it freely amongst the population.

Monetary experts are not really sure if this makes any financial sense, and have asked Mr Brown to think carefully before he sets the printing presses rolling, but the Prime Minister left Downing Street this afternoon looking very happy with himself.

Asked by one fellow MP how the cash would be distributed to the Poor, Mr Brown said that a fleet of helicopters would fly low over every area of Great Britain, liberally dropping bundles of cash wherever they went.

When it was pointed out that this might result in "pandemonium", Mr Brown replied:

"There will always be teething problems, but it will the duty of each and every individual to act responsibly, and not get carried away."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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