Written by Rotten Apple
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Topics: Toys

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for Toy Boycott Growing
"Years of playing with Chinese toys turned me into a severly retarded individual."

American toy buyers are leaving China-made toys on the shelf. Fearful of having their children poisoned by the lead used in toys from China, many parents and children are making their own toys. Safer toys like homemade slingshots, pea shooters and zip guns will be finding their way under the Christmas tree this season.

One California father said, "I don't want some Kindergarten boy all hopped up on Chinese Aqua Dots around my little girl!"

Several Toys 'r Us stores have reported a 90% drop in sales. Giant retailer WalMart is considering filing for bankruptcy since they don't offer any goods that aren't made in China.

The US Coast Guard is reporting a traffic snarl off the West Coast, as hundreds of container ships laden with Chinese toys have been unable to unload their cargo into port facilities. The entire distribution system has become clogged up as a result of the China toy boycott.

With American ports too clogged to take the unwanted toys and the Chinese manufacturers unwilling to take the poisoned goods back, the Coast Guard is keeping a watchful eye for anyone attempting to scuttle these ships. "The last thing we need is tons of date rape drugs getting dumped off our shores. The young people who swim our California shores don't need any additional sexual encouragement!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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