Written by King David
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Topics: chickens, Cows

Friday, 9 November 2007

image for Chic-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow attacked by chickens
This Chic-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow was attacked early this morning

A Chick-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow was attacked today by a truckload of chickens while waving at motorists in Durham. The attack happened on the 1500th block of Roxboro Road early this morning as an 18-wheeler working for the Tyson Food Company sped by.

The truck was carrying a load of live chickens on its way to a food processing plant in Mayberry, North Carolina when one of the chickens riding on the truck saw the cow was reported to have roused all the others. The chickens were reported to have broken free of their cages and rushed over to attack the bovine monster.

Motorists were reported to have looked on the incident with amused hilarity, some stopping to take pictures with their cell phone cameras.

Department of agriculture spokesman, Tom Cider said that this was the first time that they'd ever witnessed something like this occurring.

"Not since Orwell have we seen a group of animals so enraged."

The Center for Bovine and Chicken Diplomacy spokesman, Joseph Stalin, says that the chickens had been provoked by the Eat More Chikin' cow's sign that dangled around its neck. The sign says, "Eat More Chikin'."

"Chickens aren't really known for their aggression," says chicken psychologist, Sigmund Cackle. "That's why we call them chicken."

The Far Side's, Gary Larson was encouraged by the uprising and said that he would probably publish a cartoon depicting the incident. Recruiters for the Greensboro branch of the local KKK were also on hand to try and recruit some of the errant cacklers.

But poultry workers at the Tyson food processing plant were not amused by the white cackler's antics and said they couldn't wait to get their hands on them to wring their necks.

The driver of the 18-wheeler carrying the birds was seen by the side of the road running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to gather his wayward load and cursing the Acme cage company, accusing them of chicanery in selling him faulty cages.

A spokesman for the Durham police department, Bill Gun, simply said, "Well, it's looks as if the chickens have finally come home to roost for that cow. We've been waiting for that to happen for some time now."

The League of Chicken Voters said that they would not condone the errant chicken's act of violence, but did say that it underlined recent chicken frustrations with American eating habits that have been on an upswing toward becoming healthier.

Union representatives for the chickens were not on hand to represent the chickens simply because there are no chicken labor unions in the South and Colonel Saunders, who has permanently been detained in death, was not around to speak for the chickens either.

The chickens will stand trial for attacking the cow in mid-February. The hearing will be in local district court.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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