US and A - Atari, Inc. has announced that it's new SMEGMAtron-7000 will be ready just in time for the onslaught of holiday shopping this year.
SMEGMAtron-7000 was not expected to be ready until 2008 due to a shortage of 'throughput capacity' at Atari's main manufacturing hub. But a recent deal involving cheap child labor and indentured servitude was struck with Sony Computer Entertainment, Inc. This should bring smiles to the faces of eager consumers of plastic and microchips everywhere.
SMEGMAtron-7000 boasts enough features to make a grown technophile cream his jeans. Just to name some of them:
- Features a flatscreen LCD
- Comes with Wi-Fi built in
- Not compatible with the 'Big Ten Network'
- Available in seven different colors and three different odors
- Includes a plug with universal adapter (and houses a hamster on a wheel for back-up power)
- Repeats whatever you say in your voice (and swears at your neighbors while you are away)
Although pricing information is not currently available, the machines are expected to fetch between US$500 to US$1,000. At this time the only locations known for certain to carry them are The Sharper Image and SkyMall Magazine.