Written by mutantnemesis
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Topics: Google

Friday, 19 October 2007

California (mn) - After hours trading on Google (GOOG) drove the shares of the Internet search firm up nearly 20% to $761.82. That's $123.19 change since markets closed this afternoon. The spike was driven on the late announcement of Google's new mission statement.

The new statement is mostly the addition of some key words to the end of the existing statement, which, until this evening, read "Google's mission is to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful."

Now it reads: "Google's mission is to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful, and to find new and impressive ways to irritate Microsoft and Bill Gates."

Google's company website has already been updated with the new information, and it goes on to say "By stating our intentions, we believe we've already made great strides in accomplishing our goals."

Gates could not be reached for comment, however an inside source states that Bill was, indeed, fuming and mumbling something about buying the Internet before being reminded he dedicated a large sum of his money to charity. At this time, Gates lost it and vowed to teach America a lesson by charging more for Office 2009 Super Duper Premium Edition, due out in 2012.

Google 2, Microsoft 0.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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