BRISTOL - The frankly shabby performance of British productivity in recent years is set to change. This was the statement from Prime Minister Brown today. Leader of the opposition, David Cameron, responded by saying, "We were just thinking about that. Wait, I've got a policy somewhere..."
Brown intends to revive the poor secondary industry sector in Britain by funding a bid to re-create the 'British and Colonial Aircraft Company'.
Formed in 1910, the British and Colonial Aircraft Company was the brainchild of Sir George White. Their first major plan was the 'Bristol Boxkite'; when asked if they would still be producing this Voisin Zodiac Boxkite lookalike - the first of which didn't fly - a BaCAC spokesman, Alexander Wavell, said 'Yes.'
What's more, Buffy the ex-Vampire Slayer has been apointed to manage this new venture. She now wants to called 'Buffy the Business Guru.' Goodness knows why. Brown, however, remains positive with choice saying, "We needed someone with good experience of stakeholders."
Of course, what the members at BaCAC might not realise is that after a series of mergers and splits, the British and Colonial Aircraft Company eventually ended up as part of BAE systems, the multinational war bringer.
Despite this, Alexander Wavell sounded upbeat about the proposal. "We all feel this new company will embody the spirit of everything the British and Colonial Aircraft Company stood for when it started."