New York - Frantic trading began today on news that the American Mortgage market was about to collapse. The Dow Jones average went below zero for the first time since trading began as many stock marketeers began to sell shares in finance companies in exchange for Monopoly money.
An insider said "The dollar has fallen, the Euro is at a 50 year low and the pound is just shite, I've no alternative but to trade into cash and the only cash worth anything is Monopoly money."
Traders were seen loading sackfuls of the previously "toy" cash into their Porches and making a quick get away.
Derek Lambeth, a spokesman for the Nasdaq said in a prepared statement, "There is some uncertainty in the market but no need for irrational behaviour. The market is being readjusted and after this temporary blip we will go back to making loads of money". He was seen leaving the Stock Exchange in a dumper truck.
As always we will keep you updated.