Biotech International shocked the medical community by introducing the world's most economical heart regulating pacemaker today. Although a bit cumbersome by today's standards the astounding cost savings more than make up for the slight inconvenience.
Biotech's stock shot off the charts jumping from $3.25 a share to an astounding $45.00 a share by the closing bell on Wall Street. Trading was unbelievable by any standards said, "Marvin Clouse, of Brokers, Merrell Lynch, Pierce, Finner and Smith, most new medical innovations take some time to catch on but this one is one hot potato."
Biotech's competitors are laughing off their effort, pacemakers are generally implanted into a patients chest sparking the regularity of the heartbeat. The devices are extremely small and very expensive, $50.000 uninstalled. Biotech's solution is $500 installed. The savings to the patient is substantial enough, many are willing to brave the size, weight and design irregularities.
George Clooney, (no relation), pictured with the device, was one of the first to receive one of the pacemakers said, "I had to buy it it's own seat on the plane, and yes it is a little bulky but can you really put a price on life? When I'm in my car keep it plugged into my lighter. It's better than $50.000."
Another recipient said, "I carry mine in a shopping cart and move it around with a furniture dolly, but I thank my lucky stars every day."
The design leaves something to be desired but Biotech reps said you can order it in green plaid, (pictured) red plaid or soon to be available blue plaid.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert