Written by david alsatian
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Topics: Bicycle

Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Menstal Cycles Leave Women Raging

A UKRAINIAN bicycle manufacturer in the picturesque village of Kil Menstal last night faced a barrage of criticism from women's groups at the official press launch of their new 2007 range.

Family cycling firm Kuznetsovkrok came under fire from feminist cabals, who claimed the company deliberately discriminated against women in their designs and yearned for women to go back to cooking and cleaning and all that.

Feminist leader Olga Mikhailitchenko said: "None of their bikes are suitable for us women at all. There's no lovely wicker baskets strapped to the handle bars, pink bows that flap romantically in the wind are conspicuous by their absence and not a single design comes with a pretty bell.

"This is sexism pure and simple. Why should men have a monopoly on a vital piece of transportation in a village such as this?"

Mikhailtichenko promised to lead a concerted campaign to force the cycle firm out of business and claimed the issue would not distract attention from the group's on-going work.

The growing feminist movement in the Ukraine has already petitioned the government for every house to be fitted with at least four or five fluffy pillows, kitten ownership could soon become compulsory under Ukranian law and scientists are working round the clock on a secret chemical formula for a revolutionary fabric softener.

But Kuznetsovkrok's Managing Director, Stanislav Lennon, lashed back at the growing feminist movement.

He raged: "These fucking dogs are getting well above their station. Men all over Europe should raise a horrified eyebrow when the missus starts reading books and thinking about things other than cooking.

"My bikes stay as they are and anybody who starts moaning will get a bit of this (shakes fist suggestively)."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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