Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Airlines, Oral Sex

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for First Easyjet, then EasyCar, now EasyBlowJobs.
The EasyBlowJob logo. "Sucky Sucky Five Dollar", ...ish.

LONDON (Defecated Press) - The master if all things orange and cheap, Stelios Haji Ioannou has revealed his new venture - Cheap and convenient oral sex.

The big fat jolly billionaire son of a billionaire, told us this morning, "I have been a strong force in so many sectors, air, car rentals, hotel rooms even. I now need to think of me. With EasyBJ, I can offer the consumer oral sex from £4.99, with corporate discounts available. Many business men tell me they need cheap relief while away on work, and that's what I can provide them."

Prices start at £4.99 for three minutes, up to a maximum charge of £40. Mr Ioannou came under criticism earlier this year when this new move was discussed at the Easy Group AGM.

A major share-holder, Panos Enlarjidos told us, "This is a step forward for the company and I support this move. Yana is particularly good. I think I'm in love with her."

Richard Branson, the guy who didn't make Branston pickle is making plans to follow the trend. The Virgin tycoon has announced he will launch Virgin Virgins after sealing a deal with Eastern European 16+ girls.

Mr Branson was not available for comment.

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