Written by SpaceElevator
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Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for Rural Isolation Soon To Become Obsolete
Rural wireless broadband -- available now on your crapper

Silicone Valley (San Jose Duodenum) - Uniting the power of the internet with wireless technology and principles of indoor plumbing, Ted Clampett (grandson of Jed Clampett) has stumbled upon a discovery that could radically alter the lives of millions of country bumpkins.

"After I lost my shirt in the dot-com bust, I became a chronic insomniac. Then I set out to find solutions to common problems, like rural wireless broadband. One night it came to me in a 'Eureka' moment (are you sitting down?) the thing that connects us all is our sh*tters!"

(**Warning: Do try this at home**) Apparently our plumbing acts like a giant network of networks, which is exactly what the internet is. So anyone with a wireless-capable laptop can sit on the loo and receive free wireless broadband.

Clampett claims that this revolutionary phenomenon is particularly well-suited for people afraid of the worldwide web but familiar with reading on the toilet. Note, however, that the feature will not work on wooden outhouses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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