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Wednesday, 4 April 2007

image for Girls Gone Wild - Starphux Coffee Bar Opens In Hawaii
Starphux Coffee Bar : Java Gone Wild !

WAIPAHU, HAWAII--(ROASTED) From the beautiful islands of Hawaii, with their dramatic sunsets, active volcanoes, ocean surf, Diamond head and brazen copper wire theft, will hold the grand opening of the first Starphux Coffee Bar. Starphux Coffee is a subsidiary of the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise, which is also planning to open restaurants in Cancun & Cabo San Lucas this Summer.

Joe Francis, owner of Mantra films Inc, producers of the famous $100 million "Girls Gone Wild" DVD's featuring boob-flashing by young women, is the founder of the new Starphux Coffee brand. "I was looking to diversify & expand the GGW brand beyond television entertainment. We have a vision to high-light the female body as you sip your first cup of caffeine in the morning."

"Perky topless servers will squeal with delight as you order your cup of Joe with or with out cream. Boobs-a-plenty will be an added feast for the eyes of the coffee addict wanting to start the day off right. Large graphics of Gazonkas will permeate the walls of our establishment. Cream-filled sugar buns & donut holes will greet your sex starved sweet tooth. Even the creme dispenser will be shaped like hooters. The Starphux lifestyle will be about coffee & sex. What else do you need."

"We also have a line of young women's apparel from beach to casual apparel. Only the bikini bottoms will be sold, of course, as well as micro-mini shorts for beautiful women sizes 1 thru 5, sorry no trucks allowed. Only the most beautiful women need apply and as for a resume all you need to do is show us your bazookas. If they defy gravity...you are in!"

Mantra cranks out about 80 "GGW" DVD's a year and is expanding to the U.K., Australia and Europe. The company promotes 700 special events & parties yearly. Videotaping drunken college-aged sluts out for a good time and promiscuity. Starphux is going to be a great place where your coffee cup-size will runneth over!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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