Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Advertising, Truth

Thursday, 22 March 2007

image for Truth in Advertising Act to Be Strictly Enforced
The Golden Arches will have to be real gold.

The United States Congress has recently passed, and the President signed into law, new amendments to the Truth in Advertising Act which will be strictly enforced. These measures will cause the follow companies to make changes in their marketing campaigns:

McDonalds Hamburgers will either have to stop using Ronald McDonald, the clown in their ads or will have to start using clowns in their meat.

Dodge Trucks will require their sales team to stand in the middle of the street in front of their dealerships, attempting to avoid traffic, when no one is on the sales floor.

Best Buy will be required to offer the lowest prices on everything.

Wal-Mart will be required to actually have falling prices while customers are in the stores, though these prices cannot drop below those of best buy.

Baskin & Robbins will be required to sell only 31 flavors.

Wendy's will have to show their little girl as the old, obese, woman that she is and not the cute little redhead in pigtails. They will also be required to point out to all of their customers exactly where the beef is.

Sprite will be required to prove that there is a real fruit called a lymon and market it in grocery stores.

Cheetos will be required to find a cheese that actually does crunch and use that in their product.

State Farm will actually be required to be there like a good neighbor. Their new duties will include babysitting, loaning a cup of sugar, and picking up the mail and newspaper (and watering the plants) when customers go on vacation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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