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Sunday, 18 March 2007

image for Bolivia Pressuring Coca-Cola to Change Name
Will Weed-B-Gon B-Gon?

LA PAZ -- Bolivian farmers, in an effort to reclaim part of their cultural heritage, are pressuring the Coca-Cola company to change its name. Coca leaves have been a part of Bolivian culture for more than 500 years. The plant has been used in religious ceremonies and as a mild stimulant. A farmers lobby is urging that the new Bolivian constitution include a provision that might force Coca-Cola drop the "Coca" part of its name.

What's not clear is how such a provision might affect other products. The Frito-Lay Company is trying to determine if its "prize inside" product Cracker Jacks might have to take the "Crack" out of its name. Del Monte Foods was more than a little surprised to hear that its product, Kibbles 'N' Bits, has become a slang term for small pieces of crack, and may soon be prohibido.

A potential further complication would result if other countries adopted similar restrictions. For example, should Columbia get into the act, Kellogg's might have to consider whether its breakfast cereal, known variously as Sugar Smacks, Honey Smacks, and Smacks, might have to undergo yet another change because of the "Smack" connection. Similarly, Poulan and Ortho could have to rename their products now known as WeedEater and Weed-B-Gon, respectively.

The White House, continuing its irrational approach to anything remotely related to drugs, has come out in support of Bolivia's effort. Deputy communications director Iva Tight-Sphinctor had this to say, "Drugs bad." Deep analysis indeed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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