Wall Street - (Rioters): The Forbes Rich List is a vast ficiton factory concealing a fraud perpetrated by Ted Turner and his bastard brat JK Rowling, who has claimed authorship of the Harry Potter series for the last ten years.
That is the considered view of the world's top 10 billionaires who have once again laughed themselves silly at the annual listings which they strenuously shun so as not to impede a NATO military intelliegnce probe into Clinton/Bush1 & 2 war crimes collusion.
"When you get to our clients' level of wealth, keeping out of Forbes becomes an art form," said a legal source close to the undisputed global megabuxters.
"Bill Gates, Warren Muppet, the oil sheikhs - our clients could buy them out from petty cash any given day. And still have enough liquidity to run the US budget for a year without going into overdraft.
"To say they are publicity shy is like asking if the Bushes run the Mafia. Of course they're reticent. Five members of the Bush family evil empire have been hired to assassinate out clients in the last 50-odd years on the express joint orders of the Vatican and Queen Elizabeth."
The Rowling/Turner connection is more complex but is said to go back to a 1970s feud which saw Turner slime his way out of capital charges by giving Bill Clinton an alibi that subsequently bankrolled him into high public office.
The pay-back for that act of loyalty was official US state sponsorship of the fiction that JK Rowling wrote the Harry Potter books which enabled Ted Turner to mint a fortune from the movie rights.
That secret father/daughter combo has underpinned the bi-partisan relationship between the Bush and Clinton families which has spiralled to the heighs of hubris with Hillary Clinton vying for the mantle of the Democratic nomination for the 2008 presidential election.
"All it would take is for our clients to publish the video footage", the legal source continued. "Turner is a class act but riddled with holes. As far as current tarrifs go he's looking at a minimum of fifty life sentences minimum for what he has done.
"The vastness of our clients' personal wealth would be out in the open when the Feds arrest Turner and his mendacious fraudulent cocky spawn Rowling. How in hell do you conceal ownership of one thousand trillion US dollars?"
UK Chancellor and wannabe Prime Monster Gordon Brown is livid.