Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 18 February 2007

image for Eric Clapton: Britney's Amex bounced her out of rehab
Taking the credit...

Antigua: Eric Clapton, owner of the Antiguan Crossroads rehab where Britney Spears spent a memorable 24 hours convincing doctors that she didn't have a problem, has said he had to throw the singer out after her credit card bounced the $20,000 upfront treatment fees.

Speaking at an addiction conference in Las Vegas, Clapton said that despite frantic calls to her bank Britney could not come up with the money after a massive spending binge cleaned out her checking account.

"She couldn't say where it all went but it might have been up her nose or up somewhere else in her body after so much entertainin in the last six months."

Clapton added that before she packed her bags Britney managed to trash her dormitory room, propositioned two elderly 12-step counsellors for a threesome, bribed a cook into scoring cocaine and set fire to a neighboring banana plantation: "We knew then that she wasn't serious about getting clean."

Since her abrupt departure from the clinic Spears bounced back in the headlines after a bleak ten days' blanket coverage of former stripper Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death.

Her public self-epilation in New York yesterday has resulted in half a dozen movie offers and the immediate re-instatement of her credit rating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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