Just when you thought it couldn't get any stranger they just keep on pulling you in. Looking like something out of a bad Saturday Night Live skit Anna Nicole Smith's sister, Donna Hogan, is coming out with a tell all book appropriately titled, "Trainwreck".
In her book she claims, among other things, J Howard Marshall and Anna Nicole tested his sperm for potentency, when it was determined he was still capable of fathering a child, at 90 years old, they froze his sperm to later be artificially inseminated into Anna Nicole.
Bizarre? Yes, but The Spoof has uncovered another layer to this unbelievable story.
Sources close to Anna Nicole have come forward with the following facts: J Howard Marshall never intended his money to be awarded to anyone. In his later years, J Howard started to believe in reincarnation.
Anna Nicole and J Howard devised a plot to rival even the most far-fetched sci fi fantasy, after being impregnated by his frozen sperm Anna would give birth to a beautiful baby. In this baby girl, J Howard himself would return reincarnate. In this diabolic way he could return to earth as a beautiful baby girl and still maintain the fortune he left behind. They say you can't take it with you, apparently J Howard found a loophole in the fine print.
They didn't stop there either, Anna Nicole had her eggs frozen and as you read this a special lab is fertilizing those eggs with more of J Howard's frozen sperm and Anna Nicole is planning to return to earth as a petri dish male baby.
Her, Anna Nicole, now a him, and him, J Howard, now a her, will be reunited in youthful bliss, the ultimate story of romance and love beyond the grave.
Anna Nicole, as a full grown man, will secretly enjoy being a female impersonator, emulating none other than herself, Anna Nicole, in gay clubs and cabarets across the globe.
In a really weird reality it will boil down to Anna and J Howard being their own biological mother and father and they're own biological son and daughter all wrapped into one. A very tight circle to be sure.
A religious group called, "The Triad of Tyranny", Monks that monitor potentially evil events, has issued an Anti Christ bulletin. They have determined Dannielynn will, mature into a beautiful woman, Anna Nicole will mature into a man's man, when he's not female impersonating, together they will wield untimate power for evil bringing mankind to it's knees.
Attorneys call the plot genius because of its complex simplicity. Maintaining your fortune and getting to do it all over again. Fantastic, brilliant.
The dispute for J Howard's fortune has finally come full circle ending right back where it started.
An Internet Statistic Company has released the figures relating to the Anna Nicole tragedy, they've discovered the term Train wreck was associated to Anna Nicole Smith stories more than any other person in history.
In a related story Wikapedia has revised the term, "Train wreck", from this day forward it will be known as, "The Anna Nicole", if someone is in total disarray, being a disaster, you could say, she's pulling, "The Anna Nicole".
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Feb 10 2007