Sportswear giant Adidas is set to pay David Beckham and other 'has-been' footballing personalities to say parts of the word 'Adidas' in a new advertising campaign announced today.
The "stars" will be required to say one of the three syllables, 'Ah', 'Dee', or 'Das', and will be paid as much as £300,000 for their efforts.
Beckham, recently transferred from LA Galaxy to Torquay United for an undisclosed amount of lard, will get to say "Ah", as it is the easiest of the three sounds to say.
Others thought to have been recruited so far are the aging Moroccan hoodlum, Zaza Zidaneous, French movie star and karate king, Eric Cantankerous, and German wartime leader, Franz Beckenbauer, now 130 years old.
At a Press conference in Katzenelleboden-by-the-Sea, Adidas spokesman Wilhelm Dreistreifen told reporters that the company had rejected accusations that they were "throwing away good money on washed-up, petulant so-called celebrities", and hinted that more adverts were planned in the future.
"Vee haf vays off making zem tork", he said.