Written by Pointer
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Topics: Food

Sunday, 28 January 2007

image for Yoplait Company Memo Reveals Insidious Plot
Yoplait Ad Exec Dee Seet said "I wouldn't eat that shit if you paid me!"

Yoplait yogurt's Yellow-Polka Dot Bikini commercials have been discovered to be the product of a company conspiracy to exploit pre-Spring Break anorexic and bulimic practices of college girls.

In a company memo leaked to our Business editor Robert "Bot" M. Tomline, advertising executive Dee Seet ordered her ad writers to read the latest eating disorder research showing that the weeks leading up to Spring Break are the most dangerous time for young women vulnerable to eating disorders.

Part of the memo read:

Strike while the iron is hot and the thighs flabby!

We can sell tons of our imaginary diet food (Yogurt is one of the least effective ways to manage a healthy diet).

Dangle that impossible to reach carrot and spank their chubby asses with a guilt stick!

EDAP (Eating Disorder Awareness and Prevention) have denounced Yoplait and Seet on their website edap.org. Seet has a long-standing reputation for explo-Ads. she was the brains behind the Clearasil Pizza Face ads, most of the DUI Lawyer ads and she personally oversees the ads for the Republican Party.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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