Written by politicalpop
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Topics: Walmart, ASDA

Thursday, 25 January 2007

image for Walmart Sells Dollar for Less Than a Dollar
We're all going to be rich, well, some of us

Walmart becomes the first corporation in the history of mankind to sell a dollar for less than a dollar. At midnight tonight, the cut-price dollar will be unveiled at all Walmart stores, and the company expect a sell-out.

Walmart is one of the most successful corporations ever, yet miserable, bitter, cynics state that the company's success derives from practices harmful to plant life. Maybe this will shut them up for good, because for once, they've done something everyone will applaud, even economic gnomes.

Sensible Shoestring, of Brokers, Calvin Klein Benson: 'This is tantamount to dropping currency from the air to destroy economies, but for once, I'm an economic gnome who's all in favour, not out of personal self-interest, far from it. Try bringing up a family on two dollars a year.'

Generous Walmart hasn't stopped there. Across the world, Walmart's spin-off subsidiary, ASDA, will be selling pounds for ninety pence, Euros for next to nothing, and many other far-flung currencies in their vast empire too far-flung to mention.

Mr. Shoestring: 'Small countries like Africa will probably see their economies destroyed overnight, instead of over the years envisaged. So what does it matter? I think they're doing the right thing for once to accelerate progress and change.'

All Walmart stores and ASDA subsidiaries will put cut-price currency on sale at midnight local time. If you get your Walmart cut price dollar first, email us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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