Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Weather

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

image for Ratings of Local Newscast Soar When Weatherman Is Fired
Residents never leave home without it -- an umbrella

"Who cares if it's going to snow or rain when you can learn all the latest about who's in and who's out of Rehab?"

That's what a 21-year-old intern at the Noname USA local TV station asked the station manager at a meeting held to discuss ways of boosting audience size for their evening newscast. As the intern pulled on his lip ring, he continued, "I mean, with all the celebs going in and out, who can keep track? Those dudes out there, like you know, they need US to tell them what's happenin' man."

The station manager adjusted her glasses, gave her bouffant hairdo a pat, and promptly fired the weatherman. She hired the intern to present a nightly segment called "Rehab Recap."

That was three weeks ago. Ratings at the station have never been higher. Since town residents have no way of knowing what kind of weather to expect, they always dress in layers. And of course they know enough to never leave home without it -- an umbrella, that is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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