Written by Buck E Filbert
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Thursday, 11 January 2007

image for Britney Spears, Paris Hilton's deep secret revealed
Thin is one stick away

Recently speculation ran rampant in the paparazzi community as to what Paris Hilton and Britney Spears were doing associating together. They're BFF image was just so unlikely, it didn't mesh well with people.

People accused Hilton of corrupting their innocent little Britney by taking her to various clubs and parties around the country, being a severely bad influence.

The facts have finally come to light in regards to the strange union. Brit and Paris have once again pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. It seems the two young entrepreneurs were collaborating on a new weight loss regime and diet product. They're joint venture is called, Lumgum.

The new diet centers around a stick of gum enhanced with umburba root. Umbumba root is well known to the Aboriginal plainsmen of the outback to cause lack of appetite and strengthen fingernails.

The plainsmen are world renown for their almost impenetrable and unbreakable fingernails and toenails. They're nail clippings have been highly sought after for years in manicure circles across the world.

The new partners are going to announce the launch of their combination diet product/nail strengthener at the Whole Earth Convention in San Diego this weekend.

The idea behind the diet is you only consume one stick of the gum per day, drink lots of water and add rigorous exercise. Apparently this combination causes major weight loss.

Nicole Richie attested to the effectiveness of the product.

I know everyone was aware and concerned about my recent weight loss. While appreciated that was only me going through the testing phase of the new diet. Not only did Lumgum shed the unwanted pounds but I could also claw through bricks with my bare hands. Extremely handy for bar room brawling and cat fights. Awesome!!!!

Hollywood starlet's and Beverly Hills debutants are on a very exclusive waiting list to be the first to use Lumgum.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Jan 11 2007

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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