Written by Dan Barash
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Topics: Cars, General Motors

Monday, 8 January 2007

image for GM Introduces Car for the Simple-Minded: The Dolt
GM is confident there is a market for the Dolt.

Struggling auto giant General Motors is introducing a new concept car aimed at customers who are intimidated by modern technology and all things requiring sophisticated skills or understanding. The GM Dolt, "the car for the rest of us", was introduced at the annual North American Auto Show in Detroit.

The Dolt sedan features a vastly simplified dashboard which has no clock for people to worry about setting, and no digital displays. The lack of an audio system relieves drivers from concerns of how to preset radio stations or turn off the rear speakers. There are traditional "idiot lights" to remind the driver to put the key in the ignition and close the doors before driving. GM did not release any information regarding engine performance or mileage because "our target market doesn't quite get that stuff" said CEO Rick Wagoner.

The genesis of the Dolt was GM's realization that most sophisticated and upscale customers had abandoned GM for their more stylish and exciting competitors. "But that leaves plenty of simpletons who still need transportation," said Wagoner.

If the Dolt is successful, GM may spin-off hybrid and SUV versions called the Dunce and the Dimwit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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