Written by Dan Barash
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Topics: Marriage

Saturday, 6 January 2007

image for Massachusetts Man Marries His Job
...'til retirement us do part

A Massachusetts man has become the first person in the US to formally marry his job. Jason Nirrette of Boston used a loophole in the Massachusetts gay marriage law to enter into holy matrimony with his job as a stockbroker. Nirrette, 34, said he had loved his job for over 3 years and felt it was time to "take the next step".

Nirrette says he got the idea from his ex-wife, Natalie Wilson, who had been critical of the long hours he worked. "She finally said 'Why don't you marry your damn job if you love it so much,'" said Nirrette. "So I figured for once in my life I'd take her advice."

His initial attempts to marry his job were rebuffed because he was still married to Wilson, leading to concerns about being prosecuted for bigamy. Nirrette promptly divorced Wilson. "I let her have everything except my home-office and subscription to Fortune," he said. "I much prefer being married to my job. There is no mother-in-law involved and the benefits are better."

"I'm sure they'll be very happy together," said Wilson.

Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is critical of the marriage. "The Bible refers to Adam and Eve, not Adam and Morgan, Stanley, Dean Witter," he said. "This isn't as bad as gay marriage, but it still makes the Massachusetts Governor look like an idiot."

The wedding ceremony took place in the company cafeteria with Narrette's Blackberry playing the role of best man.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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