Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Disney, Cartoon

Wednesday, 3 January 2007

image for Beleaguered By Demands for Redesigned Cartoon Characters, Disney to Launch New Website
Can Disney Change?

Interest groups have called for changes in Disney characters to align them with 21st century demands and sensibilities.

Here are a few examples of the forthcoming changes:

  • Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson see no reason why there shouldn't be a Coal Black, in addition to a Snow White.
  • Members of Tramps United for Justice feel that the tramp in "The Lady and the Tramp" is portrayed as inferior. "We're God's children too," the director of the organization reminds Disney execs. "What's so bad about living on the wrong side of the tracks?"
  • The Christian Right think that Mickey Mouse and Minnie have been courting long enough. "When's the wedding?" they ask.
  • The National Organization for Women points out that if there is a CinderElla, there should also be a CinderEd.

The National Association of Little People pleads for a more positive depiction of dwarfs. Pint-sized Pete points out, "Why should ALL of them in the Snow White saga have hard-labor jobs in the forest? Is that all dwarfs can do? And then that 'heigh ho' drivel? Puh-lease! Nobody's THAT eager to go off to work." And Pete adds, "As for getting the girl, fuhgedaboutit! It's not one of the little people, it's a 'normal-sized' guy, and a 'royal' to boot."

In a late-breaking development, even some of the characters themselves are joining the protest. Winnie the Pooh has applied for a name change and has announced that if he doesn't get it, he'll be looking elsewhere for work. "After all," he's asked the Spoof reporter, "would you like to go through life with a name like that?" Winnie feels that his demand will be granted. "New year, new name," he says confidently, adding, "Believe me, I'm movin' on up. With a one-word name like Brad, Ben, Matt, or Justin, the sky's the limit."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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