Wall Street is not the only place in the world rampant with talk about the latest difficulties at the computer giant.
When the news spread to the Garden of Eden, one serpent remarked to another: "I just knew those bigshots would take too big a bite of The Apple."
Meanwhile, deep in a famous forest, Snow White was saying to some dwarfs, "Those executives had better watch it! I know from experience that a bite of an apple can be poisonous." The dwarfs' reaction to the news was mixed. Happy stopped laughing for a minute to say, "Naughty, naughty," while Sleepy just yawned and continued to comb his beard. The non-speaking Dopey grabbed a writing tablet and wrote, "What the heck is a stock option?"
Observing these proceedings from behind a nearby tree, the Wicked Queen (risen from the dead) merely giggled maliciously. Maybe she was thinking about how the troubles of Apple Computer had wider implications for the reputation of apples in general.
After all, in related developments, The National Teachers Association has banned the saying "An apple for the teacher," and the American Medical Association has told their members to stop telling patients that "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Most significantly, New York officials will no longer refer to the city as "The Big Apple."
Elsewhere, The Spoof has just learned that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have renamed their daughter Apple. She will now be known as Fig.