Macy's Department stores across the world have pulled Sean John jackets from the shelves after P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) reported that they were actually made from dogs. The manufactured had advertized that the hooded jackets were faux (fake) fur, but tests showed that the pelts were real and came from canine sources.
Cruella DaVille, majority stock holder of the fur coat company, appeared for her press conference in a coat apparently made of dalmatian (of course). "Dahlings," she said, "there is no cruelty to dogs allowed in our process. In fact, there really are not dogs hurt or killed at all. It's just P.E.T.A. going for publicity."
"We have been making coats like this for a long time. Our line for little girls are designed to look like little French poodles with their poodle cuts. Since poodle skirts are coming back into style, wouldn't they look good with a poodle coat?"
"Can you think of anything warmer on a cold winter's night than a coat made from, er, made to look like and English Sheepdog?"
"For large women, how many foxes, minks, or rabbits would have to die to make you a fur coat? It would only require one Saint Bernard, and we throw in a little tankard of rum to carry around your neck as a bonus!"
"We all know that there are many different colors of dogs, such as golden retrievers, black labs, red dachshunds (these would work great on tall, skinny people), little white bischons, and greyhounds. Our coats can cover the full spectrum!"
In a related story, the S.P.C.A. offices and the dog pound near the home of Ms. DaVille have closed their doors as "apparently, folks around here are not abandoning their animals any more," according to former pound manager Fred Snoot. "We haven't seen a stray in weeks."