Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 19 September 2017

image for Giant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!
He's such a huge tosser, but has decided not to purchase a Chinese sex toy because he loves tossing his nukes!

It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs!

So, after hearing that China has closed a factory producing sex toys for tossing Chinese males, they have decided to buy the stock, lock, stock and barrel for Christmas 2017!

Originally, the Chinese factory wanted to sell their complete stock to North Korea (as mentioned in a sensational, previous Jaggedone scoop spoof), but Kim Jong Un is such a huge tosser he thought having an army filled with brainwashed, jackbooted tossers, could harm his charm offensive towards Trump Towers, and nukes are his favourite toys anyway!

The first Chinese sextoys have arrived in the US and shocked mamas and papas (no relation) taking their kiddies in for an early Christmas shop have been buying eye blinds to put over their nippers eyes, especially in the Mormon state of Utah, just in case they start getting horny seeing near-naked Chinese girls sitting in the shelves; dads are loving it BTW!

The store is now happy and Chinese sex dolls are really going to be massive this year, especially in Dad's fishnet, Christmas stockings that tired mums refuse to wear!As for the kids, give em a smartphone and shut them up!

It seems the Chinese sextoys are going to save the store from bankruptcy and President Trump has waived his order to thwart Chinese imports for the time being believing business is business. He also has ordered a Chinese sextoy for his son to play with instead of looking at pornos because he might be shocked at who he discovers on the internet!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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