Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 11 May 2017

image for Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!
Hiilary is an expert on suckers especially after Bill got stuck in a suck!

Sir James Dyson and his vacuum cleaners have been at war with their European competitors over suction! He claims his cleaners suck better than German ones, and that even before Brexit!

Sir James is out to prove to the rest of Europe that Brit suckers are superior to anything they can produce, and he has now won an appeal at the European Court proving that Brits are top dogs when it comes to sucking and that's not including his vacuum cleaners!

The point of contention was; Dyson cleaners operate always without bags, German ones lose their sucking power when their bags are a 3/4 full, quite logical actually. Question; which bag sucks a 100% when she's got her mouth full? (Oops sorry, that's the wrong bag!) I actually meant the bags in vacuum cleaners not in mouths...

So now Sir James can continue to conquer his European rivals, but sadly he missed one point! Although his bagless cleaners keep up their performance when nearly full, a sales argument indeed, his European clients will soon have to pay 35% more for the pleasure of having a bagless sucker sucking. Moreover, the Germans will be still better off in the long run because their bag filled suckers sold in the EU will be export tariff free!

A old Chinese proverb explains the situation perfectly: A European bag sucker in the hand is worth two Brit bagless suckers in the mouth!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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