Written by President Bush
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Topics: eBay, Bill Gates

Tuesday, 12 December 2006

image for Ebay to Auction Ebay on Ebay?
Ebay on Ebay? That gives me a headache!

Citing lackluster 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th quarter sales online giant Ebay today filed a petition with the Federal Trade Commission which if approved would allow Ebay to auction itself off...on Ebay.

Faced with increasing competition from competing auction/sales sites such as LiveDeal, Craigslist, Microsoft's Live-Auction, etc, Ebay's management team, already showing only minuscule revenue of less than 3 billion before-tax dollars per week decided to tentatively "Play the waters", "Etch nothing in stone" but simply see if some Ebay bidder could in fact purchase Ebay in a legal online auction that would financially satisfy the bottom lines of all parties without either party winding up behind bars.

Ebay CEO Meg Whitman told Technology Today reporters,

"Even if we do find a bidder willing to pay us .. well, the 'x' billions of dollars that we want for Ebay, our attorneys assure us that if a certified winning bid should occur, we'd be under no obligation to honor it .. kind of like the way Ebay works now."

Industry analysts not in favor of the auction say that Bill Gates and Microsoft, as with all other venues, ventures and opportunities in life will sweep Ebay up so fast the electronic ink on the virtual deal will not have time for it's pixel's to dry in Photoshop, Corel's Paintshop either.

Michael Dell, sources say has expressed interest in bidding on Ebay on Ebay but did according to the same sources admit that with Christmas Dell sales only bringing in less than a billion dollars a week .. Dell did admit publicly on KVUE Austin that his pockets could simply not reach as deeply as those of "Mr Gates". Ebay tentatively says there will be NO reserve on it's Ebay Ebay auction, starting bid, 37 billion dollars. US.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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