In surprising news today, American radio personality, Rush Limbaugh bought The Desert Bedouin chain of Indian-owned motels from the Patel family. The Desert Bedouin has been a fixture in American culture for the last 20 years, undergoing several changes in ownership from the Lakshmans to the Nehrus and then to the Patels.
When asked why he was selling his family business to Limbaugh, businessman Mani Patel said that he was tired of American culture and that all he wanted to do was to watch his sons grow up to be engineers. He also said that he was tired of people calling him a "sand nigger."
"Where I come from everyone respects their elders," he said. "You can only take so much of that in a McCulture."
When asked what prompted the radio show host to buy the motel chain, Limbaugh said that he was tired of hearing American's stories of walking into the lobby of The Bedouine while they were on the road and smelling curry and having some little brown guy behind the counter say, "May I help you?" in a funny accent.
He also mentioned other grievances such as pools that had not been drained properly and were still the color of the River Ganges and little pint-sized dogs that were kept inside the fence around the pool, probably served up for dinner.
"How do we know what we are eating?" Limbaugh asked. "American business does not smell like curry or Tandoori Chicken. It smells like money."
But critics say that this is just another way for Limbaugh to exploit someone from a different ethnicity. "We watch Limbaugh," a spokesman for Human Rights Watch said, "and feel that Limbaugh demonstrates the worst in Americans."
Limbaugh says that he is planning to make some changes to the chain. Among those changes would be:
1.Sandals will no longer be worn in the office area.
2.Family members would no longer be allowed to live with employees on the premises.
3.No more than two persons to a bed, or four in a room.
4.No plastic figurines of superhero elephants with six arms sitting around in the office area.
5.The office area cannot be attached to a living quarters.
6.Employees of the motel cannot sleep on the premises, or fast on a day that they are scheduled to work.
7.The person working behind the desk must put in a full 8 hours before being replaced and must be large enough in stature to be imposing to scare away any of the riff-raff.
8.No more of that licorice tasting stuff in a bowl by the cash register.
9.The pool will be drained completely leaving no brown water standing.
10.No dogs will be allowed in rooms or the pool area.
11.The only "Festival of Lights" to be observed will be the headlamps of Harley Davidsons as they snake in on their way to the convention in Sturgis.
12.No cricket to be played in the parking lot.
13.No pictures of tigers, peacocks, or lotus flowers on the wall.
14.No exotic fruit such as mangoes served for breakfast
"If you cannot abide by these rules, you can go find another chain of motels to patronize," said Limbaugh.
We at The Spoof magazine definately feel that the man will be a top business leader.