Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Sunday, 9 October 2016

image for Sales Of Tic Tacs Sour On Trump
Jabba the Trump--at least he ate some Tic Tacs.

After tapes surfaced where Donald Trump talked about using Tic Tacs before sexually assaulting women, sales of the breath mints have plummeted worldwide.

Manny Charenselov, who runs a small newsstand in a downtown Denver office high rise, has noticed the dip in sales, and explained as he pointed out his products to this reporter.

"I don't have room for a lot of stuff here, you see the major newspapers of the US and some cigarettes and lots of gum and mints. And no women are buying Tic Tacs, the men hardly buy them either because they know women are reacting negatively to the idea of a, I guess you could call Trump a fondler at least, using Tic Tacs before groping or kissing a lady by surprise."

I have my own personal revulsion to Trump, and to be objective this reporter reached out to some female colleagues to gauge the effect a Trump association with Tic Tacs might have.

I called three girlfriends to talk about the election in general and when the subject invariably got around to Trump, I would ask if they liked Tic Tacs. All three said they did indeed like Tic Tacs but would avoid them in the near future because they didn't want to think about being assaulted by Donald Trump.

One woman explained it like this, "I think we've all had instances of outright abuse or unwanted advances and one thing that stands out in most victim's descriptions of events are things like smells that they then forever associate with their abusers. I can personally relate to that and when Donald Trump himself talked about using Tic Tacs, the thought of the Tic Tac flavor and odor immediately brought to mind my own memories of being abused."

The Italian confectioner Ferrero, maker of Tic Tacs, has not responded to media requests for comment so far.

Richard Mack a former consultant for US PR firm Hill & Knolwton, spoke to this reporter about the PR issues facing Ferrero.

"When this kind of negative publicity affects a company through no fault of their own it makes sense to be cautious about getting into the fray. Most likely if they wait it out Donald Trump will do or say something else outrageous and his association with Tic Tacs in the public mind will fade in time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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