London - (Ass Mess): The Rather Serious Fraud Squad was laughing all the way to the Labour Party sperm-donor bank today following the news that reckless native American gamblers the Seminioles have fallen for the last leg of one of the Met's best-snowballing sting operations for years after ass-saving bi-partisan agreements brokered by the UK's last three Prime Monsters held firm in protecting Jeffrey Archer from the gibbet.
The Seminoles are convinced that they have just acquired the Hard Rock cafe and hotels empire for around $965 million in totally legit deal similar to Victor Hwang's recent £450 million purported asset sale of Battersea Power Station to some Irish pig farmers from County Louse.
The move has been likened to an ultimate poker bet whose roots go back to Mohammed Fayed's risible claims to Harab's department store in central London.
And it's been allowed to gather momentum to collect other glittering fraud trophies such as the ownership of the Millennium Dome, Wembley Stadium, Manchester United FC, Chelsea FC, Arsenal Football Club and the Duke of York's Barracks in Chelsea. Not to mention the BHS retail chain, Conran Restaurants, the Sandy Lane Hotel, Camden Lock, Paul Burrell's Princess Di soiled undies' legacy claims etc. etc. etc.
Along this route a number of very iffy blustering old cons have swelled their troughs and been ennobled as Life Peers for keeping quiet about some truly perverted Jeffrey Archer business that is protected by House of Mountbatten gagging clauses.
But now the wager has reached the bluff pinnacle as the Seminoles of Florida mortgage all their ill-gotten for one last vital punt at the rollover jackpot.
"Our ancestors sold Manhattan for trinkets", said Seminole Indian Tribe Vice Chairman Max Osceola yesterday."Now we're gonna buy it back one burger-induced coronary seizure at a time!"