Written by Harry Klondike
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Topics: Economy, Movies

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

image for Sidibe/Curry Rom-Com Pulled from Theaters

For the first time in showbiz history a motion picture has been pulled from screens across the U.S. due to it's disastrous economy wrecking title.

The romantic comedy, starring Gabourey Sidibe and Tim Curry, was about a May/December romance that blossomed between a distinguished restaurateur and a feisty young designer who comes in to save the floundering upscale eatery.

The Title

No fewer than 23 privately owned theaters have gone out of business due the movie's name. AMC, Carmike, Cinemark, and Regal are all deep in the red due to a near 0 turnout over the weekend. So what on earth could a movie be named to keep people away in such droves?

Closed for Renovation The titles of movies are displayed in alphabetical order in many franchises so that was the first and only thing most bothered to read when walking up to the ticket window. The effect was hardest on small theaters which only show one movie at a time; their plight could drag on for weeks before people even check back to see how the theater is coming along... if at all.

Ed Billingsworth, of Forrest City N.C. said; "Not since a 1974 locally released film called Closed for the Winter had it been this bad. Back then it was a summer release so we thought people would understand, but I'll be damned if they weren't so dumb they thought the drive-in was closed. Now I feel like the idiot for letting history repeat itself. I'm out of the movie-house business for good this time. Home and truck are paid off- kids and grand kids are fine so now I'm gonna retire and do some renovatin' in my own life".

No news on when or if the film will be rereleased, and what other titles may be under consideration.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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