Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: Britney Spears

Thursday, 30 November 2006

image for Britney Spears touts new product
They do say breast is best...

Britney Spears announced Sunday that she'd be distributing a new line of creamers through a popular chain of coffee shops.

The product "All of Me", a dairy creamer, consisting of 100% mothers milk. could be hitting the coolers as soon as this summer.

Spears stated, "Since my last baby was born I've been lactating like a blue ribbon Hereford. Had to get a industrial milker just to handle the flow."

One close friend said, "It's disturbing, when she lays on her back she looks like a lawn sprinkler, never seen anything like it".

Britney also stated "I've got more than I need, what better way to show my appreciation to my fans than to share my booby booty with the whole world?".

When contacted Jim Beam, head of the FDA, said "Currently the FDA is considering the request to clear "All of Me", for public consumption. The FDA prides it's self on adhering to certain standards of safety and purity and we're not sure if Ms Spears meets any of those criteria.

Ms. Spears also added, "I just wish those people at the FDA would get off their behinds cuz my udders are killing me."

When fans were informed of this development comments ranged from, "Hey, Hey, Hey!" to "Eww...like gross!".

If "All of Me" fails to sell, Spears may be crying over spilled milk.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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