Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Cannabis, Airplane

Saturday, 28 February 2015

image for Aircraft Giant Flying Higher With Legal Pot Breaks For Assembly Line Workers
Dr. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: With Washington State legalizing the possession and growing of pot, aircraft manufacturer Gunwing announced that workers in their assembly facility in Everett, Washington would be allowed to smoke pot on their breaks. Although the legalization of marijuana for these workers might make some passengers think twice before flying, the Public Relation spokesperson for Gunwing said that she would be happy to be the first passenger on any plane assembled by these employees as long as she could sit next to an exit door and carry a parachute.

"Let's be realistic about this. Although safety is a priority in our business, happy employees are a close second. Also, since most of our younger workers were flying to Colorado to buy their pot on weekends, this gives them more time to get high on the ground. Definitely a win-win situation for all of us."

Dr. Billingsgate doesn't necessarily agree with this argument. As one of the few "high" altitude forensic potologists in the world, he has investigated countless incidents of planes coming off the assembly lines missing engines, rudders and other small items that might appear insignificant to the casual observer. He recalled once seeing a plane come off the line without a cockpit. The Mid-East purchaser was told by an executive to stop nitpicking or they would put them on the "No Sale" list.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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