Written by Duff
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Friday, 24 November 2006

image for Sat Nav Drives Farmer to Ruination
At the end of the road, turn right

A livid Lincolnshire farmer is today blaming sat nav as the reason he is now out of business. Yokel, Faramir Giles, has blasted the in-car high-tech devices as evil beyond belief for what they did to "him and his"

The trouble started when Boromir noticed that suddenly his fields of barley and wheat were becoming decimated by articulated lorries and cars driving all over them.

"At first we had a bit of a larf about it" laughs wooly-footed Bilbo

But that laughing soon turned to bitter salty tears as one by one all of his fields were completely buggered up and ended up producing sod all at all.

It seems that this shameful shambles came about because some total pillock at Sat Nav Central made a complete arse of programming the super-computer that controls all the World's sat navs.

"Instead of sending the traffic down the nearby A56 it was sending it across Mr. Gandalf's small holding" said a nerdy looking schoolboy, who we reckon was pushed out in front of the media as a sacrificial lamb because the real oaf who cocked it up was 'bricking it' and wouldn't own up.

A tearful Gollum told the Spoof:

"Yesss...That's me gone to the wall then, my preciousss. 25 years down the shitter and all because of sat nav... And they have the cheek to call it progress!"

The Spoof has set up an appeal fund for unfortunate Mr Gamgee and at the time of going to press we've got £59.71p in the kitty. Not much we know but it's a gesture.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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