Written by Gail Farrelly
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Friday, 1 August 2014

image for NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business
Out with the old!

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders!

The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of being forced to wear blinders blocking their side and rear vision, thus forcing them to only look straight ahead, they've come to realize the behavior-modification aspects of this accessory -- not only for horses, but for other creatures as well.

They plan to manufacture blinders in a variety of colors, materials, and sizes, then sell them on the streets of NYC.

The horses cite a few examples of folks needing blinders. There are politicians who can't seem to focus; instead they hop around from one project to another, never staying on one thing long enough to push through new legislation. "Limit their vision," the horses say. Then there are spouses who are unfaithful, because they can't stop looking around to see what else is out there. What if they were forced to look straight ahead only, at what is right in their own backyard? And what about students flunking exams, because their eyes are constantly moving to the left and to the right, instead of staying riveted on what's right in front of them -- their books? Buy them blinders and watch their grades soar, claim the horses.

As consumes ponder the new product, the horsey Board of Directors of the new company only hopes that people remember the words of Herman Melville: "There is a touch of divinity even in brutes, and a special halo about a horse, that should forever exempt him from indignities."

Hopefully the halo brings with it lots of business success!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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