Shares in Edinburgh Tattoo, the high class tattoo studio chain, received a boost at close of trading last night after it was rumoured that it had contacted Balmoral Body Art, the place where Prince Andrew was rumoured to have had his famous "Mother" tattoo emblazoned across his bottom with an offer of 26 million pounds.
The latest upper class trend is to have traditional designs tattoed in visible places such as across the forehead or knuckles but with excerpts from posh poems taken for instance from the works of Robert Burns or Mark Twain in place of swasticas or hate lettering.
H.R.H. Queen Elizabeth II is rumoured to have asked Balmoral Body Art for information about a small shoulder tattoo, but has since refused to stay in the presence of any artist since feeling extremely traumatised about having been left in the company of the sinister convict, Rolf Harris for many hours.
Buy Edinburgh Tattoo, Consolidated Dilithium. Sell Stylophone, Didgery Doo. Quick gamble on Drone Terminator Systems.
Frozen Fish distribution chain Greenland's C.E.O. has been in talks with Innuit Freezer Co. last week. Ken Dodd's rumoured retirement has sparked off a Ticklig Stick panic.