Written by jd Balderdash
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 18 November 2006

image for Walmart Begins Selling Nuclear Weapons
A sample from the new range

In a first likely to draw criticism from the Bush Administration Walmart began offering fully functional nuclear warheads for sale at it's Atlanta store this week.

"Playstation sales were good Thursday" one Walmart executive said going on to say, "but there simply weren't enough of them to make a profit. These warheads, though a bit pricey should get us back in the black this holiday season."

The Pentagon, unsure how to react to Walmart's news says that unfortunately there is no law that prevents an American, or American company, from selling Nuclear Weapons.
Kim Yong-il, president of North Korea reportedly contacted Walmart regarding "supplies" needed by the republic of North Korea to sustain it's growing underfed Gazelle population of...Gazelle's.

President Bush in an emergency speech to the nation urged all Americans to boycott Walmart's new Nuclear Weapons department until such time that Bush and the NSA tells them it's ok to think and act for themselves.

Prices for a typical Uranium 235 10 Kiloton Warhead range anywhere from 320 million dollars all the way up to half a billion depending on whether or not you purchase the extended warranty that goes with it.

Walmart denies rumors that Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was seen browsing around their Atlanta store looking for "Gazelle supplies".

Make jd Balderdash's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 3?

4 21 15 8
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top