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Friday, 16 May 2014

image for NASA predicts Richard Branson's space travel pipe dream will bomb
NASA has dubbed Branson's spaceship The Ostrich after the notorious head-in-the-sand flightless bird

Washington DC - Wannabe astronut Richard Branson is a complete charlatan whose daft Virgin Intergalactic Corp should be renamed Vergin' on the Ridiculous according to a NASA memo published this week.

The world's premier space agency reckons decades of intelligence files on the money-grubbing Brit rogue have convinced it his space travel project is little more than a massive tax-evading hoax.

Branson has spent millions conning investors that he can get it up on the big day to give megabux backers the thrill of a lifetime.

Last week a press release admitted neither the launch vehicle not the actual space craft are anywhere near ready for the inaugural flight that the braggart confidently predicted in 2004 'would almost certainly occur by 2007'.

"The man's a certifiable arse," a NASA technician said today, "with delusions of grandeur above his station.

"Wanna see a MRI scan of his innards? His so-called brain's still jammed up at the business end of his large intestine."

The Virgin Hot Air Ballon will fly to the moon next April 1st.

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