Written by Wayne Davis
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Tuesday, 13 May 2014

image for GM Recalls Every Car They Ever Made
Innocent But Deadly, The Chevy Spark!

Millions of GM car owners got a big surprise in their mailbox this week, a recall notice informing them that their, Caprice, Colbart, Corvair, Vega, Chevette, Corvette, Trailblazer, Suburban, Yukon, Malibu or any other GM car ever made is a death trap and needs to be returned to dealer pronto!

"The cars could explode at anytime for any reason" said Otis Henry. "We are texting, twittering, calling, mailing, even going door to door to warn people and have then turn in their car for a refund (based on current trade-in value).

Needless to say, those owners who have not already been killed in their "bomb-on-wheels" were not happy at the news.

"I will never set foot in a Chevy dealer again" said homemaker and Tea Party member, Mary Alice Lancaster. "I'm heading over to Ford right now and get one of those cute new Ford Fiestas or a Dodge Dart".

Officials were a bit cagey about why all of their cars are potential pipe bombs, claming everything from Chinese dry wall to unskilled slave labor in Mexican plants.

The news comes at an awkward time as GM was just getting ready to launch their new "Citation, it's back and it's better" campaign.

"I don't think we will proceed with the Citation promotion" Otis Henry admitted. "I don't think I'll even have a job come Monday".

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