Written by Trinculoman
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Friday, 9 May 2014

image for Progressives' Shopper Mart - The Premier E-tailing Site for Fully Enlightened Ideologues

Here are some of the most desired items for those of you in elite political cliques who know who you are and espouse only the most enlightened ideas of utopian thought. Shop today and impress your friends at the next exclusive cocktail party! These gems won't last long!

Puncture-ready dart board emblazoned with the image of torture-meister Jack Bauer from the TV series along with a set of 24 darts shaped like mini-drones. Replacement/alternate board image of anti-liberal crank Ann Coulter is also available.

A pristine, never-sold, mint-condition first edition of The Wit and Wisdom of Bella Abzug.

Special edition of the classic NPR "sound portrait" -- "Personal Sacrifice and Sharing: Ivy-League Co-eds Recycle Used Panty Liners as Bookmarks for Impoverished Somalian School Kids."

Personally autographed copy of Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, inscribed "Yours, in subversive solidarity….Saul"

Never before published aqua-tint print of the cross-dressed, paleo-Progressive President Woodrow Wilson in black silk bloomers, matching garters and hose, overstuffed pink bra, and traditional Bowler hat.

Former Secretary of Health & Human Services Sebelius's annotated version of the Obama Care's Quality Adjusted Life Years (QALY) mandated guidelines indicating priority candidates for exclusion from Medicare treatment and thus "fast tracking" for death - the Koch Brothers and employees, Tea-Party affiliated Vietnam Veterans, and all Red State Seniors.

Rare, color 8 by 10" glossy of arch activist and core anti-American Noam Chomsky in a Speedo.

A complete CD set of the step-by-step guide for "Imposing Speech Codes and Outlawing Freedom of Expression" which has been successfully implemented on virtually all U.S. university campuses.

No need to fret over who's the most enlightened of them all?! Just opt for your very own Progressive self-esteem validator - the Narcissus Mirror. Simply look in the glass and enjoy ultimate satisfaction in your self-regard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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