Written by D P Whitehead
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Thursday, 1 May 2014

image for Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies
This Prostitute Did Not Die From Smoking! She Was Murdered By A Client.

Leading tobacco companies and cigarette makers are asking the public not to focus on the dangers of smoking but to switch their thoughts to the millons of people who smoked but did not die from smoking related illnesses.

"Not everyone dies from cancer, heart attacks or strokes," said Frank Knob, a spokesman for one tobacco company, "I know of many, many smokers, some who smoked two packs a day who didn't die from lung disease."

When pressed for figures and names Knob replied, "My Uncle Stan, smoked 20 a day, he was run over by a truck, my Grandfather - he smoked 40 a day - he didn't have heart problems. He was killed in the war. So, all you anti-smoking people, trying to make me lose my $2,000,000 a year salary, get YOUR facts right!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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