Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 18 April 2014

image for The Federal Govenment Issues A Warning To Smokers Who Smoke Those 12-Inch Cigars
Rush Limbaugh is perhaps the most famous 12-inch cigar sucker in the entire country.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After consulting with several doctors who treat smokers, the US government has issued a warning regarding cigars.

The warning actually is addressed to those men and in some rare instances women, who smoke those 12-inch cigars such as GOP radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh.

The government has been informed by at least three dozen doctors that they are finding more and more cases where the 12-inchers are becoming lodged in the smokers throats.

One long time physician Dr. Nevlin Finiski, 64, of Boston stated that he has never been able to understand why in the world any man or woman would want to stick a 12-inch cigar in his or her mouth and suck on it as if it was a...pacifier.

Well known San Francisco sex doctor Wescott Warfiddle, 48, has commented that he knows exactly why it is that individuals such as Rush Limbaugh and others enjoy sucking on a 12 incher.

He winked and said that since it's a family publication he will just let the adults figure it out.

SIDENOTE: When Rush Limbaugh was contacted and asked why he sucks on a 12-inch cigar he turned red and said that why he does it is his effen business and his effen business alone - and not even his wife knows the real reason.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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