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Monday, 14 April 2014

image for Electronics industry insider squeals, "Big companies make their products to last long enough for the warranty to expire but not much longer."
Hello, yes, I'd like to order the cordless.

Remember the good old days? Your mother or grandmother still has a washing machine that is over forty years old and is still used daily.

It sounds and moves like it's trying to lift off to the moon but to it's credit, the bastard still works. You yourself have a clock that is pushing antique status and it somehow manages to keep perfect time.

They sure don't make them like they used to... but is this on purpose?

An example. Why do phone companies offer a three year contract and the phone only has a year long warranty? Then on the fourteenth month you have it, it inevitably shits itself... and this happens 2-3 times over the life of your contract, more often than not forcing you to have to expensively replace your phone.

It is not just limited to phones, television's, hifi systems, dvd players, mp3 players and other electronics are also notorious for it.

Your father's VHS player still works, you have used it for the last ten years since he passed away. It has outlasted twenty two DVD players and three blue rays.

The only problem is the technology has died and you're stuck with old Evil Knieval recordings and if you are lucky maybe the odd 1970's bearded porno. If you are extremely fortunate you may find the occasional tape at a garage sale but what it is exactly is anyone's guess.

In an industry where things are supposed to "get better", are they really? Some technology is so temperamental that if it rains it ruins it and your flawed warranty states, "it is not covered due to water damage."

Remember that phone Nokia made in the late nineties? The one specifically made for tradesmen? You could tie a fragmentation grenade and half a pound of C4 to that bad boy and it would still make phone calls. Sure the screen would be a little cracked but it still worked.

If your fat aunt sits on your phone now days, chances are the screen will shatter and you will be left holding an expensive paper weight.

Ironically turning it into a piece of outdated but still useful technology.

Doctor Takei Yamagoshi from Tokyo University's telecommunications engineering department has blown the whistle on several co-operations and modern technology.

"The phone parts are not made to the same standard as products of yesterday," he confessed after years of research.

"Phones can now make toast, detect speed cameras, organize booty calls, vacuum the house and take the dog for a walk but you are telling me they can't survive a little water?" The good doctor asks this chuckling like a Japanese school girl in a manga film.

"When something breaks down inside a phone,quite often it is now just easier to buy a new phone, which is what these companies are counting on," he educates as he types on his Amiga 500. "I mean," he continued, "these are supposed to be smart phones but they keep breaking? What is so smart about that?"

The doctor then went on to answer his own questions.

"They make more money by you being more worried about not being able to live without their ridiculous apps then questioning why your phone continually stalls, switches off by itself or breaks all together."

"This is not limited just to telecommunications, I believe that it is spread across most electronics. There is just not as much profit for making a decent product that lasts for decades anymore."

Make Frank the gunslinger's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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