Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 9 April 2014

image for Cucamonga Teacher Invents Earthquake Underwear Spray
Petula Lemonfizz has become an overnight millionaire. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

CUCAMONGA - Petula Lemonfizz, who has lived in California all of her life has just become an overnight millionaire.

The Cucamonga English teacher said that she just got sick and tired of having her bra and panties end up around her ankles every time there was an earthquake with a magnitude of 2.3 or higher.

Miss Lemonfizz, who is a very attractive woman of 29, said that many of her fellow female teachers had the same damn problem.

She pointed out that the male members of the school's faculty did not have that problem since they wear pants and their boxers or briefs were caught by the pants crotch.

Petula noted that school policy prohibits female teachers from wearing pants and they must wear dresses or skirts at all times.

She said that she came up with the idea of Earthquake Underwear Spray after being embarrassed in front of her students for the 18th or 19th time just since January.

Lemonfizz developed a type of adhesive gel that when sprayed on a bra or panties would secure them to the boobs and hooha.

She took the prototype to an underwear manufacturer in Burbank and they immediately worked out a deal to produce Petula's Earthquake Underwear Spray.

SIDENOTE: Miss Lemonfizz, who has since become engaged, said that she was paid $1.3 million up front plus she will get 15% commission from each can of Petula's Earthquake Underwear Spray that is sold.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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