Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Russia, Corruption

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

image for Top Russian bank on the verge of collapse
Putin's dodgy slush fund is headquartered inside the red dome at the Kremlin

Moscow, Russia - The IMF is warning that Moscow's First Putin Bank For Deconstruction and Embezzlement is close to bankruptcy after a bloody great big sink hole appeared in its loans portfolio.

The news could spell a dramatic early closure of its flagship Upper East Side, NYC branch where hundreds of Russian Embassy diplomatic (sic) attaches stash their cash to draw attention away from foreign offshore scams.

Today's report published in the New York Toast says the Red Square-headquartered bank handles the pay packets of thousands of active, semi-retired, retired and sleeper KGB agents in Europe, the Middle East and the USA.

These include the all-important London hive headed by Plutonium-210 peddler Dim Eatery Gagginforit and his London desk chief Sirgay Pissof who masterminded the purchase of countless KGB 'safe houses' all over the world.

Now it appears virtually all those properties were entirely bogus with ownership documents forged by a foreign power's counterfeiting department.

This week the IMF's counter-vermin division said thousands of mortgages - dodgy even by corrupt Russian standards - are in danger of bringing down the Russian President's flagship slush fund following a run on the country's foreign assets.

Daft-as-a-brush Russian Prime Monster Dim Eatery Medvedev is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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