Written by Bureau
Print this

Saturday, 22 March 2014

image for Man On The Street Says Economy Sucks

Lucas Mattingly, a man on the street, says that the United States economy has gone to S*it.

"I blame the President and the continent", he told the people who would stop and listen. He also happened to buttonhole Tom Thatcher, reporter at large (400 pounds).

"Why the continent", he was asked.

"Why not?"

"Let me put some thoughts together. I'm only just woke up from that park bench over there. I guess I meant congress. They have screwed America until the job market is in shambles. How are we, the people of the street, going to beg any money for food and subsistence if no one is working? You seen my metal cup and dark eyeshades?"

"Looks like them over there by the bench."

"Now how is a blind person going to see that?"

Some other complainer comes up. "I think those are mine."

"Joe, you go get your own glasses and cup. You use a hat and a white cane, remember? That's my cup because of the dent on the handle."

"I'm blind and crippled. Worse off than you and you're complaining more than me."

"Well, I went to a more professional beggar college than you. I gotta pay back those tuition fees."

I left them arguing over who was in worse shape and which war they were in. This is Tom Thatcher, reporter at large.

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 1?

4 22 2 20
96 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more